I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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