very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
