so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
