Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
