may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
