Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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