i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
