so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
