your thong is hanging out like whoa
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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