There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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