Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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