you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
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I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
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At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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