He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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