well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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