remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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