like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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