im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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