just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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