So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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