You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
