So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
