what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
