so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
