my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
