i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
