you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
