Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
