she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
