He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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