Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
