The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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