you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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