so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Is it penis luge time yet?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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