I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sorry about my life...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
