Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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