sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize