your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
