my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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