true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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