maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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