its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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