If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
