Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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