My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
