I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
