You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
