How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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