1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
FUCK WHALES
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