What a fucking waste of an outfit
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
