Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
