Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
