so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
