three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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