He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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