Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize
