Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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