I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
