dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize