remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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