My hair reeks of homosexuality.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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