I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
