i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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