oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
