no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
