Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
