she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
