i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
